Thanksgiving 2021

November 25, 2021

Where did this year go? I can’t believe it is already near the end of 2021. I have a lot to reflect on this year and even more to be thankful for. I am thankful for my large network of family and friends, who get me through every day, every year. I don’t know if I ever thank everyone enough for giving me the strength and courage to keep going, for giving me unconditional love and support. I wouldn’t be where I am today (mentally and emotionally) without each and every one of you. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for always reminding me that I am strong, I am loved, and most of all, I am not alone.

I know a lot of my blog posts are sad and depressing, they reflect the heartache I still have from being without my twin. The hole in my heart will never go away, I will always miss her, I will never be the same as I was before. I will continue to talk about her, cry and fall apart on the days when the pain gets too much to bear, but I will keep her memory alive with me always.  I still feel lost without her and at times I don’t recognize myself, trying to navigate life as “me” instead of “we”.  

But I found “me”, and I am pretty damn proud of who I am. I am stronger and more independent than I believed I ever could be. I have done things this year that I never thought I would do, like dress up as Wonder Woman and go to Comicon (pictures will follow later in this post) and had a blast!! I am meeting new friends and spending quality time with old ones. I am completely comfortable being alone (never had a lot of alone time before, always around my twin and family).  I enjoy my quiet, solo moments, lots of self-reflection, but also knowing I am not afraid to be alone with my own thoughts. I am more confident and comfortable in my own skin, knowing I can make it on my own. Even though I moved away and started a new career, I am still the same old Vani in many ways. I will always be a chef, enjoy cooking for family (except Dad and his dietary demands, just kidding, kind of…ha ha) and friends, I will always be the potty mouthed NBA fan who curses at the TV when her team plays like shit. I will always be a dork with a sarcastic and dry sense of humor. I will always be a twin to my Aily. I will always spend the rest of my life trying to be the best daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, and friend to all of you, and I will always live my life to make Aily proud.

This year, I am most thankful for my family and friends, for my health, and for the knowledge to not take life for granted. I am thankful for the 39 years I got to be with my twin and for the years ahead, whatever they may bring.

Here are just a few fond memories from this past year!!

4 comments

  1. Jennie Barrett · 1 Day Ago

    ❤️ love ❤️ you! Happy Thanksgiving 🦃 to you too!

    Like

  2. Karen · 1 Day Ago

    So proud of you! Hugs and kisses to an amazing woman.

    Like

  3. Joyce · 1 Day Ago

    I knew you would get to this point. Its hard work on your heart and your head…but you did it. Good job..Feel my big hug Joyce

    Like

  4. tacomapat · 1 Day Ago

    It’s very comforting to read this post and realize how well you are doing. It has been a journey with lots of hard work and reflection on your part. I am proud of you and am feeling encouraged by your progress. Big hugs.
    Pat

    Like

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