Flying Solo

8/30/2018

Yesterday I embarked on my first trip since Aily passed away. I will be completely honest with you all; I have had really bad anxiety about it for the past few weeks. In two days, it will be 3 months since she passed, and some days it feels like a long time, and other days, it feels like it was yesterday. I have good days and bad days. On the bad days, I constantly replay the last two weeks of her life over and over in my head. I can’t control it, I can’t stop it, and all I can do is weather those storms. Those were the hardest two weeks of my life, the hospital visits, the news that there was nothing else the doctors can do, meeting with hospice, watching Ailish in pain, barely in and out of consciousness the last few days, and the images and sounds of the last few days she had on earth. Those days haunt me; at times they paralyze me with anxiety and overwhelming sadness. At times, I feel like I am suffering from PTSD unable to control the thoughts and anxiety. On those days, I stay in bed most of the day, hoping that tomorrow will be a better day. Thankfully, I have a lot of good days too, where I am relieved she is no longer suffering, and I work to move on with my life because I know that’s what she would want me to do. Yesterday was one of those days, and I got the surprise of a life time!

I had an early flight to Georgia to visit my best friend, Mary. I was up at 3:00 am and at the airport by 4:30 am, an ungodly hour in my opinion (but my best friend is worth it). While I was standing at the gate waiting to board, I hear them get on the overhead intercom and say, “Siobhan McAlorum can you please come up to the podium”. I was like, oh shit, what is wrong? Did something happen to my ticket? I had no clue why they would need to call me up there. As I walk up to the podium, I see a smiling face with fiery red hair (which I absolutely thought looked amazing), it was Ronni and her co-worker Tara there to greet me with a gift basket and to wish me a safe and fun trip. I was shocked, so surprised, and star struck!! I felt like I was meeting a celebrity, or a guardian angel!! Ronni and Tara both said they were touched by my story with Ailish and my blog, and wanted to meet me. We hugged a few times and Ronni told me that they had planned to give this gift basket to Ailish on her first trip, but since she was unable to make that trip, they wanted to give it to me, to make me feel like VIP, just like Ailish wanted. I was so touched, overwhelmed, and unbelievably happy I got to finally meet Ronni. Through our emails, I can feel genuine compassion and friendship, I feel like I know her. But to finally meet her in person, I was almost speechless, mostly in shock that she also got up at an ungodly hour to come and meet me at the airport!!! Her continued kindness, compassion, and desire to fulfill my sister’s wishes amaze me. I feel like Ailish is looking out for me through Ronni! I will forever remember this for the rest of my life. Ronni, thank you so much, you are an amazing wonderful person with such a big heart!!! You deserve the same kindness and love that you give out to this world; you have truly touched my life and Ailish’s as well. Meeting you was the highlight of my month!! Thank you for making my first trip flying solo a wonderful and lovely experience!! Yesterday was one of the best days of my life, and I honestly didn’t think I would ever be able to say that again!

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Me and Ronni (yes, it was early, which explains why I look so tired)

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I still can’t believe I got to meet her!!!!

gift basket

This kind and thoughtful gift basket was amazing!!!!

Here are some pics of me and Aily when we were heading to California for our Mexican cruise for Christmas 2016. Kieran, my brother had gotten a first class upgrade and an extra one for a guest. He gave them to us. He said, you guys get real silverware in first class!!! We were so excited, this was our only time we ever got to fly first class together (thank you to Kieran for that!)

Me and Aily showing off our silverware, which we then sent these pictures to my brother, who was in coach!!!

 

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Our cheesy happy smiles!!! We always had so much fun together!!!

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8 comments

  1. Elena · August 30, 2018

    Aily has sent you a sweet angel in Roni, god bless her. You are strong, and truly blessed to have been able to have an amazingly strong sister who not only was your twin but is now your angel, be safe cuz and thank you for your emails and updates. Love you

    Liked by 1 person

  2. aliesharuiz · August 30, 2018

    It makes me so happy that you were able to meet her! I’m so glad you felt like a rock star…because you are!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. callmecolorful · September 1, 2018

    I am at my mom’s and just told her the airlines story and the crazy early flight (if the sun is still sleeping so am I) and how Roni and Tara were there and everything. It made us both so happy that you were able to experience that feeling from them. Roni gave you an amazing gift from both her and from Ailish. She is hanging out with you and Mary right now, smiling and laughing and having a drink and watching over you.

    Keep smiling and keep sharing your Twin Promise.

    Love You

    Liked by 1 person

  4. jenadamsmhc · September 1, 2018

    Love it! So glad you had such an amazing experience!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. fortheloveoflawrence · September 7, 2018

    I’m new to your blog and already feel so touched by what you are sharing. I just wanted to take a moment to say how sorry I am to read about the loss of your twin, my husband is an identical twin and to be able to catch a glimpse of their special bond really is something, so I can only imagine how life may be for you currently. Wishing you all the best moving forward and in your travels, hoping you have the very best time!

    Liked by 1 person

    • siobhanmcalorum · September 7, 2018

      Thank you so much for your kind words and for reading my blog. This has become really great therapy for me for dealing with the loss of my twin. I really appreciate how my blog helped you to understand your husband’s bond with his twin brother. Twin bonds are so strong and it’s always somewhat of a mystery to those who aren’t twins. Thank you, I wish you the best as well, and I will continue my travels and hopefully finish my sister’s bucket list!

      Liked by 1 person

      • fortheloveoflawrence · September 10, 2018

        I am so pleased to hear this, I really couldn’t recommend blogging more for helping individuals (myself included) in coming to terms with all kinds of circumstances in life. It really does seem like such a strong and special bond and I think what you are doing with completing your sisters bucket list is truly wonderful, I look forward to following your journey!

        Liked by 1 person

      • siobhanmcalorum · September 10, 2018

        I continue to be amazed by the generosity and kindness from my friends, family, and even strangers who have reached out to me since my sister died. I feel like she is looking out for me through everyone!

        Like

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